


Animal

by Wolf_Claire



Series: MikAnnie Oneshots [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lesbian, Oneshot, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_Claire/pseuds/Wolf_Claire
Summary: Oneshot story about Mikasa Ackerman and Annie LeonhartInspired by song Animal by Chase Holfelder
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart
Series: MikAnnie Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982711
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Animal

* * *

_Here we go again…_

_I kinda wanna be more than friends_

_So take it easy on me_

_I'm afraid_

_You're never satisfied…_

It was another day… It was another day, when I was lost in my feelings… I knew, what I must do, but even then...even then I was beginning to hesitate … My brain advised me that you didn't deserve my feelings...like everyone else... But my heart advised me the opposite… It wanted me to give you part of myself… To confess to you… But you only saw me as a friend…maybe not even that… There is no way that you would feel the same way about me, like I feel towards you…

A couple of times happened, when our roommates were out, that we were sitting next to each other and…we were talking. It wasn’t forced or even an awkward conversation… We said to each other what we wanted… I thought that you occasionally opened up to me… You told me your opinions, I sometimes refuted them… I told you my thoughts, you straight up told me how you see it. I often felt like you never had enough about our conversations… But even then, I loved those moments… Just the two of us, no fear about the titans…no fear about the future…

_Here we go again…_

_We're sick like animals we play pretend_

_You're just a cannibal_

_And I'm afraid_

_I won't get out alive…_

Later, however, our chat rarely happened. In front of everyone we were always pretending. In front of our friends, our family… For them, I was someone who didn’t care about anybody else… I often felt like some sort of animal in a cage that everyone talked about… But what they talked about was just my mask… You always seemed like one of those ancient warriors that everyone feared… I think it was a cannibal… So, it became your nickname when we were alone…

One evening we found ourselves alone again and… You started talking about Eren, how you wanted to protect so badly, and that one day you wanted to do him some favour… I just sat beside you and listened… There was a storm of thoughts inside my head, it drowned your sentences. That storm was also full of my fear… When you asked, what is going on with me, I told you that nothing… But even then, I was still afraid that I wouldn’t get over the pain alive… When I again stopped listening to you and you wanted to know my opinion on something, I only answered “It is alright, I don’t mind” … And that was the biggest mistake I have ever made…

_No, I won't sleep tonight…_

In that moment, when your lips touched mine, the moon started shining upon us. I didn’t know why I gave into it… It was so wrong… My brain wanted me to throw you away or just push you away. It didn’t want your soft lips on mine… But then my heart jumped into the action and ignoring the brain I started to prolong the kiss even more…

Since I had feelings for you, I wanted to even for a few moments believe that you feel the same way… When you started to undress me and I started to undress you, only the words of thanks came out of your lips, that you were glad that you have a friend like me… It hurts me that I am just your friend, but I ignored the pain in my heart, and I let myself to get lost in those warm feelings that you make me feel… I was just drowning in them all night, and didn’t sleep…

_Oh oh, I want some more…_

_Oh oh, what are you waiting for…?_

_Take a bite of my heart tonight…_

No one knew about those things that we did that night…not girls, not friends…just no one… Nobody knew, what we do when we are alone… But it meant nothing to you… It was just a practice for the time, when you would do it with Eren, because you loved him so much…

But for me it meant so much more, even when I knew that you will never be mine… I wanted so much more, but I couldn’t… So many times, I asked myself, why do you always wait and hesitate before you just take me… And even when I knew we will never be together, I continued to pretend that even for me it is just a practice… And even when you stole another part of my heart…

_Oh oh, I want some more…_

_Oh oh, what are you waiting for…?_

_What are you waiting for…?_

_Say goodbye to my heart tonight…_

Last night, before we were supposed to go guard the wall, we were just talking. You told me that you will soon confess to him… And you told me, that these nights were perfect practices and perfect pretending… But I didn’t want it to end… I still wanted something more between us… Without any warning, for the first time it was me, who made the first move…

At first you didn’t want to do it… You were begging me to stop… But after several minutes it was me, who was begging… We were like animals, like two powerful forces that mashed together… With tears on our cheeks, with sweat on our bodies, with bitemarks on our bodies, we were doing it all night… And it was the best moment of my entire life… I didn’t want it to end… That night I have to say goodbye to my heart… It belonged to you now…

_Here we go again_

_I feel the chemicals kicking in…_

_It's getting heavy and I-_

_Wanna run and hide…!_

_I wanna run and hide…_

That day we have patrols on the wall… I knew what was going to happen… I didn’t want to do it, but I had to. My friend wanted to start, so I didn’t have any choice… I don’t know, how many lives will be lost… I don’t know, how many familiar or unfamiliar faces I will ever see again… I felt how my body was changing, I felt the chemicals kicking inside of me. Thanks to them the transformation only accelerated. I felt so heavy, when I started to lure those titans towards the wall…

It was hard to pretend like I didn’t know anything about the attack… Now it was basically everyone for themselves, even though we were on the same team… I didn’t want to look around so I wouldn’t see so much death. So much death that was my fault… But in the end, I have to watch, otherwise I would be soon dead like them… I wanted to run from there as soon as possible and hide from everything…but I couldn’t…

_I do it every time_

_Oooh you’re killing me now…!_

_And I won't be denied by you_

_The animal inside of you!_

When you were talking to us, your words went straight into my heart… You wanted to go on a suicide mission… And I couldn’t and I didn’t want to let it happen… When you left to kill more titans, I wanted to go after you, I wanted to make sure you were alright…but like as always, I couldn’t…

When I saw that you are alright, and I saw who you brought with you, I still saw in your eyes that distrust and pain, like when you were standing before us and you were talking into the soul of every single soldier that also stood on those roofs… And in that moment, when I saw you hug Eren, who you obviously loved so much, my heart, that I gave to you, was nearly shattered… It was killing me... I had to made up my mind that nothing will stop me now…Not even that animal inside you, that only I saw and only I got to know…

_Oh oh, I want some more_

_Oh oh, what are you waiting for?_

_Take a bite of my heart tonight…_

I didn’t know if my damaged heart will take it… After we finished our mission, where we managed to block that hole in the wall, I thought that there was nothing left of my heart… After what I did…after what I was forced to do…

I was sitting on the roof when the evening came… I was waiting to see if by a chance someone would come to me…but nothing… I couldn’t hold it inside myself anymore… Suddenly before me appeared a shadow and I turned around. There stood you… You sat down beside me, but you didn’t say anything… Suddenly you leaned your head againts my shoulder…without a word… And in that moment my heart was healed…and again I wanted to give it to you and only you…

_Oh oh, I want some more_

_Oh oh, what are you waiting for?_

_What are you waiting for…?_

I don't know, how it happened… We didn’t talk like we used to…we just sat there…and we were glad that we are together… For me it was like a dream that I have been craving for so long, but for you, it could be just a moment, when you didn’t have to worry about Eren, because he was in jail… All of sudden, my emotions came to surface and I told you how sorry I was…how sorry I was about today…

I didn’t know if you knew, what I was talking about… But after some of your questions, I told you everything… From who I really am…to who I killed with my bare hands…who I bitten in half… You didn’t say anything…you just listened… Even though I told you nearly every single thing that I hided from everyone else, you didn’t say anything for so long… But then, without any words, you hugged me and started to whispering sweet nothingness into my ear… Even though your love will never be mine, I will remember these moments forever…

_Hush, hush…the world is quiet…_

_Hush, hush…we both can't fight it…_

_It's us that made this mess_

_Why can't you understand…?_

The last night before we would be separated into regiments, we were again sitting on the roof. I told you, what I have planned after the Scout Regimen will leave the walls. I was talking to you, but you didn’t let me finish. I wanted to tell you, that if I don’t do it, I couldn’t stay here anymore, but my words never reached you. You hushed me so many times, you wanted me to stay quiet… You whispered to me that you wanted to enjoy our last evening in peace…

It didn’t take long, and we interrupted the silence. You told me that this is the last time, but I ignored you. We fought with our tongues… With hands we were going from our hair to our back, and even under our clothes. From our mouth sometimes went out steam of hot air, because the air around us went cold, but we didn’t mind that. Our clothes were all around the roof, and we were so close so there wasn’t any gap, any space between us left… I didn’t know if you felt the same way, but I knew you still didn’t understand mine intentions and feelings towards you…

_Oh, I won't sleep tonight…_

We were doing it until the morning. Our sweat mixed with our liquids and I was surprised that we were sill awake. The whole night we were warming up with our body heat, and we switched our positions so many times. We did it so many times... I slowly sat up and started to stroke your hair… Before sun started to rise, we took our things, we kissed our goodbyes, and we parted our ways.

The next day outside the walls was so terrifying. Not only I couldn’t kidnap your friend, but I was again forced to kill so many innocents. I wiped out so many units and lured so many titans that wiped out even more and more people. When in the evening the Scout Regimen came back, I was already back at my headquarters. I couldn’t face you after you looked at me in those woods, like I was a monster. Those tears that left my eyes were for you. With them I wanted to tell you how sorry I am… But after you went to take care of Eren, I knew that whatever was between us, that it was over…

_Oh oh, I want some more!_

_Oh oh, what are you fighting for?_

_Take a bite of my heart tonight…_

That day, when Armin came to me, I knew it will be one of the worst days that I will ever experience. I was expecting some soldiers form the Scout Regimen to jump at me at any moment, but for so long nothing happened. When we made it towards the entrance to the underground, I knew there was the end for me. It was just a matter of minutes, maybe even seconds before I will be forced to use my nasty power…

After the conversations with Armin, who tried to find any good reason for my action, and with Eren, who tried to make me go to the underground, and even with you, who knew about everything, I slowly said my goodbyes to my love. And when you called me a titan, I couldn’t stop laughing, and then I told you my goodbyes. And even though you surely hate me now, and even though those people tried to stop me from my transformation, you got the last part of my heart… At least, that is how I felt when I transformed…

_Oh oh, I want some more!_

_Oh oh, what are you fighting for?_

_What are you fighting for…?!_

I tried to run away… I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to run away. But it that moment, when so many soldiers tried to stop me, and after that crazy woman tried to stop me, I knew that if I won’t run away, I can say goodbye to my freedom, to my life. If I make it behind that wall, I would be in that endless world free…

When Eren became titan too, I knew that my escape will be nearly impossible… We fought for so long… And I finally made him stay at one place, because I gave him so much injuries. I knew my path is free. And even when Eren grabbed my feet and tried to stop me, I still needed to continue, I needed to get away, I needed to finally run away… Until you showed up, that girl I fell in love with over the last few nights…

_In that moment I knew that this is the end…_

_Well…I will wait for you in this crystal…_

_I will wait in it and hope that you will come to me…_

_…and that you will forgive me…Mikasa…_

_…Your Annie…_


End file.
